sick and tired..

one week has passed.and i am sick and tired.work,school,cca.everything.even communication between peers and colleagues is deteoriating.shit.and my laptop’s giving me shitass problems.nevertheless,perseverence is the key.

i don’t think i can continue on like this.it’s either wear myself out,lose faith in people or break colleagues hearts.i wish i can just be a robot for a change.not tire myself out 24/7.damn lah.really fucking tired man!

i just want to enjoy life as a freshman.as a 17 yr old boy.as a human being.why can’t i just make decisions that people won’t get affected.im gonna kill myself if i can’t really energize myself.die!!!

sigh,you are sucking balls.maybe i should take over your body.

days seem to be back to square one.

just when i thought that poly life is going to be relaxed for the first year,i was dead wrong.and i’m serious about it.the modules:some of them are like,so damn boring lah.and some,well,okay and others tend to become difficult to comprehend.so hard to delve into basics man.and report writing?wah.seriously,it’s freaking stressed already.not only that.even the decision of CCAs got me stressed.at first,wanted to join silat and MLS.then signed up for tennis,band,karate,and others as well.now people from the different clubs are calling me for confirmation.and papa law wants the TOFUs to joing CLS club.i mean,i’m okay with it.but i worry i cannot take the pressure.it’s been too long since i last wrote SOPs and PNIs and whatshit.

bah..not only that lor..now i have a lot of things to buy and it’s burning too many holes in my pocket!i’m almost broke for the month.damn.and practicals.i seriously am stressed now lah.argh!!oh fuck.who wants to care?they got their own problems.i got mine.

sigh…sometimes the reason i get stressed is because i worry and think too much about alot of things at one time.i should prioritize which one comes first.and i have to manage my time well ah.i got…let me see..family,studies,cca,work,social issues,religion…not that many..but all of it important.and my laptop hasn’t arrived yet!i knew i should’ve bought straight aways.but well..got certain issues..i can’t tell.so well,i guess.school overall,is just as stressful as when i was taking o lvls.stressed!!till here then.

dude,lighten up will ya?asshole.the more stressed you are,the stronger i become.and you wouldn’t want that right?bastard…hahaha..

i’m worried..

when is my laptop coming!!i really can’t endure anymore of this wait!!well,they say it was one week’s time,so i’ll wait a little bit more.but i can really die.a lot of things have to be done in this contraption.oh,sorry.i mean laptop.have to take care of it really well.3 years man!gonna use it for 3 years!!

 okay,so today.it really is random.all of a sudden,i just went out to northpoint and bought clothes for poly.i mean,what is up with me.RASYIQIM BUYING THINGS?now that’s weird.seriously,for me.i never buy anything at all.even if i do go to shopping centres,i’d just look around.but well,not only did i buy “things”,i spent over 100 bucks just over it.overspent?nah,just unusual.

hey.i’m a bit worried now that’s school’s just round the corner.but hey,i go to school to learn and make friends as well as studies.nothing to worry about!

well,im being such a worrywart but well,shit happens like worries and such.and i sure dun wanna worry about yesterday’s incident.so well,i rest my case here before i go crazy and start writing nonsense.till here then.

now what the fuck you talking man.you worry too much.don’t worry,you’ll end this pain soon enough.just don’t end your life if you know what i mean.haha.asshole.

kill time..

okay..i gotta admit,it sure is a painful day today.

it rained so heavily.had to bring umbrella to the mosque.grr..well,nothing out of the ordinary.except for a few messages which really got my mind thinking after a while.suay know.oh well,not that i really bother,because i don’t wanna be stereotypical just because of a few fucked up SMSes.okay,so probably they want me to admit about it,but what do i have to admit when i don’t even know i what had done?oh wait.let me rephrase.what do i have to admit when i’ve already admitted doing it in the past?why wanna repeat the same shit again kan?big deal ah trying to scream at the phone through sms.and don’t bother talking to me about the past,it’ll make me worse but not to the extent that i’ll puke.i’d just keep quiet and just walk off.

so i killed time by assembling my model toys.mix and match.and boy,i was hungry for quite a while.so took the time to take a few sticks before my brother came back from sports day.well,that’s about it ah.maybe i’ll count the number of sticks i take a day and see if there’s any improvement to the reduction.haha,not one thing i’d like to worry about.but hey,who gives a damn?

No of sticks:4

okay.so you got fucked by a fucker who always fucked you upside down because you fuckingly fuck up everyone else.in the end,you’re pretty much fucked either way.haha.dumbass.

Protected: you make my heart..

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just another day..without you?

i grow tired of escalating myself one step beyond in order to reach out for those in need.I have been doing that for the past 5 years and i see no fruition of my deeds.not even a thank you.

Anger.Frustration.Bewilderment.Astonishment.

i’m not suppose to endure all this because i can just leave it all one side.but i chose not to.why,do you ask?simple.i thought that by doing so,i would be appreciated but so far,the only people that notices my actions are those from my workplace.i appreciate them more than anything.i won’t want to be specific because it would be unfair.i apologise for being too general,but it can’t be helped.i know,i’m a bit too exaggerated at times,but that’s who i am.well,enough of the bullshit.i’ll get back to the story.

today i had flag day and i was suppose to meet up afiq at northpoint at 9am(i guess).guess what?i woke up late actually.haha!bathed quickly and went to meet up with him.even when i was rushing,there were people who were willing to donate.such hearty citizens.met afiq at MacDonald’s with Jennifer and her friends.saw athirah at the underpass.then invited her along to go chong pang.in the end,there were a few incidents that occurred.we ended up going to SAFRA and played pool.sorry fiq,but i’m telling you,it’s really luck and not skill.i just look at how people play and i apply.after the pool thingy,went back to school.there was these two indonesian guys looking at athirah while she was sleeping.what was their problem.they were even grinning.maybe i’m paranoid,but i just kept my cool lah.then returned back the tins.

after that,some of the TOFUs met up and waited for papa at the library.so many stories to be told lor.then papa came and took some pictures.we went outside for dinner.i had to go off because of certain matters to be assessed.sorry folks!now i’m home.tired,exhausted but i’m feeling a bit of emotions now.haha.nonetheless,i’m fine and i’ll end my entry here.

bad news kan!haha.padan muker kau!dah tau dier dah suker org lain,masih nak gatal2 lagi!stupid gay man you…haha..you’re so pathetic.

happy birthday and a day to remember..

before i end and start my entry,i wanna wish a lot of people happy birthday today…

~liyana,Bao Guang,I’in and Abg Wan…Happy 17th,17th,7th and 24th birthday respectively!!live long people!!

back to the entry…

went to school,waited for afiq.had SPICE training in T425.ended at 3.30pm unexpectedly.thought gonna end later,but well..like that mah.so went to eat at FC2.saw Amanda with her friends.me and fiq sat down and talked about one thing:girls.haha..typical right.anyways,something totally unexpected happened ah.i was so damn focused about the topic.to feel sad,glad,mad or just.cry like a TOFU?…i don’t know..

now i’m at home,finishing wherever i left off during training just now.tomorrow’s flag day at tampines.for President’s Star Challenge 2007.oh well.gonna rest up.tomorrow’s a nice day i hope.

till here then.

fucker,never know when to quit.you really like that Athirah gal huh?

camp..

wow…camp..let’s talk about it huh?

1st day

went to school very early..saw my pri sch friend muhammad..he’s in school of built env. whereas im in school of CLS…so assembled that the supposed spot…sat and waited till we were allocated to our groups…17 campers and 2 GLs(group leaders) in our group…well..not that interesting at first..but that athirah gal from St Margaret’s cute!i mean seriously…and afiq..well..same course as me..at first i looked at him like mat maner entah..but he’s a nice and cool guy in the end..there were a few others..but lazy wanna type all…so bla bla bla…learn campfire songs..oh yeah…our group name…TOFU!! and it was thought of by me!haha…so yada yada yada…played icebreakers…and some outdoor games…the thing is that,even if we win or lose,still have to do forfeit..haha..it’s fine by me…then yada yada yada…it was night already..then we went lightstick hunting…in the end TOFU came in 2nd..there were 4 other groups;Happle,oreo,Fa Cai and Alger..haha..then already midnight..played taiti for a while then went to sleep i guess..

2nd day

amanda is pretty and cute!and did i mention that everyone in my group was single except one or two!haha…so yeah…i only realised that until the third day though…today…woke up at 8 in the morning…played games…but the fun thing about today…we went to CBD area and played games…first we went to do Billy Banja in the water fountain near fullerton hotel…and i mean standing onTOP of the fountain…every single camper and everyone lahg…did it together…after that…everyone RAN!!!because guards were coming…hahaha…then started the outdoor CBD games…in the end…we came in first!!!haha…so damn tired…so did some TOFU taichi!!went back to school…got ready for campfire…well,was chosen to become a supermodel…3 yrs already…this is the 4th time im doing it…sigh!!but though i didn’t win the SHIM competition for campfire 2007,it was quite enjoyable…my group didn’t realise i was gone until i came back with my hair accessories intact…haha..then nightwalk…woah…it last from 2am to 6 am…never sleep lah…so around 6.30am then slept..

3rd day

everyone woke up at 8..that’s the funny thing..so early..and we were to assemble at 11am…bathe,pack bags already…then assembled at the supposed spot…well..everyone was single…except for a few…haha…then played some icebreakers game…i had to forfeit with a few from other groups…chicken dance 4 styles;classic,techno,hiphop,slow…hahaha..fun giler…then played captain’s ball..challenged Happle first…lost…didn’t wanna noe the scores…so cheered the other groups…and not to mention our freshmen all stars team when they went up against the senior all stars…tough fight..serious…well..then it was already end of camp soon…everyone wrote something to each other on a piece of paper stuck behind their own back…then prize giving ceremoney…TOFU the most daring group babe!!haha…then it was the end…everyone bid farewell to our papa and mama GLs…took each others numbers in our hps…and went home from there…

it was really a memorable day to remember though there were some tough spots which i almost wanted to crack…but nevertheless,friends pulled me out and im still here…i know it’s short…but face it,im the one telling the story…you wanna noe more…ask me k…till here then…

haha,so many pretty girls and never even got interested…that’s so random of you man!stupid fuck..wasted opportunity for a new life…

i am back…

so…work’s been fine…really gonna miss them partners soon…i’m going back to school…studying…gotta get comfortable with my curriculum first..

so what’s the topic?

nothing.

nothing much to talk about..

that’s probably because i don’t wanna blurt it out no more…

and so you see,who bothers reading my blog anyway..they’re just reading and forgetting them sooner or later…till next time..

fuck you.

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